Oh yeah, heaven is a place on earth (in Mallorca)

When Belinda Carlisle wrote the song "Heaven is a Place on Earth," she was referring to Mallorca because it is the most beautiful place I have ever been to. JUST LOOK AT THIS PICTURE:

Anywho, we had a rocking time in Mallorca for the weekend. The beach and the city of Palma were absolutely incredible. I have so many stories to tell so prepare yourselves for a long post. 

We arrived on Friday at around 4, and we decided to eat dinner around normal American time instead of at 9PM. We went to a little restaurant on the beach shore where we had the most rocking seafood paella. The shrimp was so good that it tasted like lobster. It was heavenly. The food was served and I was like: 

And as she set down the giant tray of paella, I proclaimed, "I AM SO EXCITED FOR THIS MEAL." And in my flailing of excitement, I accidentally knocked over my fork, which set off a string of the worst table manners of all time because I pretty much stuffed my face and knocked over every piece of silverware and glass that was in front of me. It was such a "Leah moment." But I didn't care cause IT WAS SO GOOD.

We decided to rent bikes for the day on Saturday because it was cheap and easy to get around. But I'm kind of uncoordinated and I haven't ridden a bike in a few years. But hey, relearning is easy. It's kind of like riding a bike, am I right? (BU DUM TSSSSSS) Ok bad joke. But good news, I didn't fall! Bad news, I almost crashed many many times. We had to bike along these skinny paths and every time someone passed me, I started getting all wobbly. It's safe to say that this chimp/monkey/orangoutang/i-don't-know-my-how-to-differentiate-between-species rides a bike better than me:

But after spending time out in the sun all day, I got sunburnt. I usually don't burn, but I think the constant biking and sun exposure created an exception. It hurts so bad, but I swear I used sunscreen. Here is my sunburn:

I felt so strange. It was like my body was fried from the sun. I felt like running around screaming:

So here is my (lame) PSA for wearing sunscreen to avoid pain and skin cancer, but I have no authority so don't listen to me if you don't want to.

NOW BACK TO MALLORCA:

On Saturday night, we went to a cheap restaurant cause we had been spending so much money and got a 3 course meal for like 9 dollars. The meal was okay (as expected), but the experience was unforgettable. First of all, people in Spain love blondes. They kind of just stare at people with blonde hair and blue eyes. One of my friends friend on the trip falls under this description. At the restaurant, we sat next to a glass wall. About halfway through dinner, an old man that kind of looked like a Spanish Danny DeVito (same height, too) just came up from the outside and stood at the glass wall and just stared at my friend for minutes at a time. He was creeping Javert style:

And as he stared through the window,  he would blow kisses through the glass:

It was creepy. And it came up to us and asked us if we spoke Spanish and before he could finish his sentence we answered with something along the likes of this: 

Then we paid and ran away from the man when he wasn't looking. While it was creepy, it was also incredibly funny. We couldn't stop laughing for awhile. Now I can't help but think of the tiny creepy Spanish man when I watch this gif. 

It was a fantastic time with a amazing people on an incredible island. I really hope to go back some day. Everyone should go there if they ever have the chance.

Welp, I need to do my homework.

Adios for now, amigos!

Hypothetical Frequently Asked Questions*

For those of you who know me, I have this insatiable desire for Internet fame. It's never going to happen because I'm only sort of funny, but more people have been reading it than I expected. (thanks, mom) And as I review my first week here, I decided to answer some questions I made up that people would ask me if I was Internet famous. So here's me answering questions that I'm asking about my own experience.

What's your favorite part about Spain?

Spain is exhausting. I feel like I've been here for 3 weeks, but it's only been one. In terms of my favorite part, I could definitely comment on how beautiful, antique, and historical everything is and seem like I'm a good student. But that's a lie. While I am embracing the historical aspect of Spain, it's not my favorite part about the life here. I've come to the conclusion that siesta is the greatest thing to ever be created. Not only is it socially acceptable to nap all afternoon here, but it's ENCOURAGED. It's like I'm living a fairytale life.

People In America people are like:

But in Spain everyone says:

How is the food here?

I thought I was gonna lose weight here cause there are pretty much no obese people in Spain. But I feel like I've eaten more here than I do in the USA. I eat 2 three-course meals a day, and they're always so good. And the food here is so fresh. All of the fruits and vegetables and meat have so much more flavor than processed American food. They also have really good table manners here, and I (shockingly?) don't. Usually, this is how I feel that my host parents view me while I'm eating:

But I've gotten to the point where I don't spill food on me. Go me.

(I've been waiting forever to use this gif.)

What's your least favorite part about Spain?

Class sux.

What's the worst thing that has happened to you since you've been here?

This. 

What do you miss most about the USA?

Tina Belcher, cereal, family, friends.

How do you find such good gifs to use?

I Internet too much because Internet is the best. The Internet is the answer to everything in life. I honestly have some of these gifs picked out before I even start searching cause I know exactly what I want. (like right now)

Leah, have you bought my souvenir yet?

Nope. Stop asking! I'll get to it.

Well that's all, friends. I hope this blog is making your life like it's making Adam's life. 

Proof: 

Adios for now, amigos.

*Disclaimer: I made up all of these FAQs for myself. This is probably the most self-involved moment I've ever had. Hashtag Hannah Horvath.

Vacation is over.

Hola, amigos!

So after a week of absolutely amazing sights and experiences, classes are beginning. It was more stressful than expected. The schedule was go have class 9-12 in the morning, and then to have class for 2-3 hours in the afternoon 3 times a week. But we got to the university, and they told us that class is from 9-1. Then our entire group of students looked at the teacher like:

So now some days I will have class for 7 hours a day. (it's like I'm in high school again...) I knew this trip was too good to be true. I'm in a grammar & conversation class with a bunch of native Spanish speakers or students who are learning their third language, and I just sit in class trying to speak but everyone else speaks so fast. I kind of look like this:

Needless to say, I have my work cut out for me, but I suppose I'm up for the challenge. The exciting news is that I finally figured out how to use my keys to the apartment and my host mom is making American food for dinner. HUZZAAHHHHH

But I do miss all of my friends and family, and I wish they were there to have this experience with me!

Adios for now, amigos! I'm off to do my tarea.

Am I in Spain or in Hey, Arnold?!

Bienvenidos de Salamanca!

Yesterday we traveled to Salamanca, which means I am now living with my host family. Prior to the trip, my professor had met most of the host parents, but he hadn't met mine. Because of this, I was incredibly nervous to meet my host family. But my host parents are an old couple that has lived in Salamanca all of their lives, and they live in a cute apartment in the old part of the city. They don't know any English, so communication can be difficult at times. But they're so cute and I imagine this is how they would dance:

As we were unpacking in our room, she came back with two 14-year old German boys who know almost no Spanish. When my host parents talk to them, they just stare at them and have no idea what they're saying. They kind of look like this:

And then right after that, two more girls came in. They're from San Antonio. They're nice and know a little more Spanish than my German amigos. But this apartment isn't necessarily big. There are four rooms, two bathrooms, a kitchen and laundry room in one, and a small living area. It's not a lot of room for 7 people. At first, I was concerned, but then I realized something.

I AM LIVING A HEY ARNOLD FANTASY.

My host mother is Grandma Gertrude because she's lively and cooks the most amazing food. My host father is Grandpa Phil because he's goofy and likes to crack a joke. And the rest of us are boarders living the Hey Arnold lifestyle. This is a dream come true.

After I moved in, my roommates and I watched a John Wayne film with my host father that was dubbed in Spanish. I only partially understood what was going on, but the plot didn't seem too complicated. It kind of went like this: 

And when I thought this host family experience couldn't get any better, I went to the bathroom and found A FREAKING BIDET. 

I am so pumped to use it and most likely flood the bathroom.

Well that's enough excitement for the day. Classes start tomorrow and I can't wait.

Adios for now, amigos.

Shoutout to the Proclaimers

I've always kind of considered I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles) by The Proclaimers to be my theme song, not for its content, but just for its peppy tune and the way in which they sing. I feel like it encapsulates my personality, which isn't an easy feat.

For those of you who don't know, I have this theory that it's easier to wake up in the morning if your alarm clock plays a song that talks about waking up in the first line. I don't know if it actually works, but I do it anyway. Currently, my alarm clock is 500 Miles. So I guess you could say this song is slowly becoming an important part of my life by getting me up for class, work, and church. I listen to this song a lot, and I'm grateful that the Proclaimers created it.

But after walking around Madrid for two days and then Toledo today, I realized that the song has taken on a whole new meaning. 

In Spain, we walk EVERYWHERE. (I think this is why people in Spain aren't morbidly obese.) And I have this weird thing where I never want to look like a tourist (even though I am one), so I refuse to wear tennis shoes. Even though I am with a big group of people and taking excessive amounts of pictures, I am still adamant that I don't look touristy cause I'm not wearing tennis shoes. 

But basically I just look like this guy with sandals instead of tennis shoes:

Needless to say, my feet hurt. As we were scaling the hills of Toledo today, I began to think of how many miles I have walked since I have been here. 10? 15? 20? I really have no idea. But all I know is that I feel like my legs are gonna crumble beneath me every time I stand up and I am nowhere near 500 miles, let alone a thousand. I've never really considered how much 500 miles is, but it's a lot and I can't walk it. Not for love, not even for Netflix.

And while The Proclaimers may be using a hyperbolic expression to express their love for a significant other, I have this (probably false) notion that they would actually walk a thousand miles just to be the man who walks a thousand miles to fall down at the door of their loved one. I would definitely fall down at someone's door at most 30 miles into my thousand-mile journey. But if someone were to be crazy enough to embark on a thousand mile walk for love, I would pick a Spaniard. They could definitely walk for miles and miles and wind up at the door of their significant other.

So kudos to you, Proclaimers, for your dedication to love and physical fitness. I appreciate you more than now than ever.

Tomorrow, I am going to Salamanca to get settled with my host family before classes start on Monday. 

Adios for now, amigos.

Irrelevant note: If any of you were wondering (which none of you were), my next alarm clock song will be Turn my Swag On by Soulja Boy when I go back to school. I'm too excited for it to be embarrassed or ashamed.

A blog post about food.

So I have now spent two days eating food in Spain. And since food is important, I will blog about it a lot.

But the food has been weird here. They keep serving us a ton of food. Usually our meals consist of two different entrees and a dessert, and it's kind of semi-rude to not eat your food. 

For example, for lunch we ate a plate of paella, then we got eggs, potatoes, and sausage, and then ice cream. After eating all that food I just wanna sit there and never move.

But we can't just sit there cause have to go walk around more. So I was walking around Madrid with a stomach full of a day's worth of food.

                                             

As I was sitting at dinner eating my ribs and french fries (weird, right?) I began to wonder.

Are they serving us a lot of food here because Spanish people eat a lot of food...

OR

Are they serving us a lot of food because we are American and that's how they think we eat?

I think I'm onto something.

Regardless of the answer to the question, I'm on track to come back from Spain weighing twenty more pounds. 

But at least it tastes good.

Now I'm going to a dance club, so expect an eventful post about that tomorrow.

Adios for now, amigos.

Ohio, I'm leaving. Ohio, I'm gone (finally)

I'm finally in Spain, but the travel experience was everything but easy.

Yesterday was my first experience flying alone, which I was pretty pumped about until like 1:30 PM. Shortly after arriving to the airport, my flight to Philadelphia got delayed and I was going to have at the most 30 minutes to make my connecting flight. After a minor freakout (ok maybe not THAT minor), I decided I was gonna take my chances and sprint across the Philadelphia airport with my Hannah Horvath running style.

But after getting through security, my flight got delayed more and I had to rebook my flights. So I had to recheck in at a different airline carrier  (where I accidentally stood in the Air Canada line for 20 minutes), and then I went through security again. Spending 2 hours running around the airport is not my favorite form of exercise. I was already in need of a shower and I hadn't even left Ohio yet. 

And my only response after getting through security the second time was:

Once I actually got on my way to Europe, things went relatively smoothly until about an hour and a half out of Madrid when the flight attendants realized one of the passengers of the plane had passed away in his sleep. He was on his way to his son's wedding to Madrid. It was one of the saddest and most tragic experiences I have seen. After waiting for the paramedics and law enforcement to check the body after landing, we were allowed to leave the plane. Then I spent an hour alone in the Madrid airport looking for my professor who was waiting for me. While my trip was stressful, long, scary, and sad, I am glad to say that I have arrived safely in Spain!

My first day in Madrid consisted of exploring the city, including the Royal Palace and la catedral de Almudena. Everything in that area is really high security right now cause the coronation ceremony is tomorrow! Also, tonight is Spain's second World Cup match, and the city is crazy with anticipation. We are planning on going out to watch the game. There's a part of the city with a giant screen that will broadcast the game! YEAH SPORTZ. (I'm trying to be enthusiastic, but meh).

Also, I'm currently running on 1 hour of sleep in the last 30 hours, so jet lag is a real thing. I feel like I could collapse and fall asleep at any point. If this writing is terrible, I blame my state of exhaustion right now.

So in closing, I will post a short list of things that I miss about America already:

1.) Eating cereal every morning (and multiple times at night)

2.) Sticker families

3.) Being able to eat pizza for any meal and have it be socially acceptable. (I don't even like pizza that much. But just the possibility of having pizza for breakfast is so alluring to me.)

4.) Being able to watch Netflix for multiple hours at a time.

5.) Chipotle

6.) My friends and family.

Well. That's it for now until something else exciting happens.

Oh, I also told a lot of people that I would post a lot of pictures, but I can't figure out how to get them on my computer due to my lack of computer skills. Oh well, I'll figure it out eventually.

I don't really know how to end a blog post. Adios for now, amigos.