Tapa the morning a ti: A typical night at the discoteca (as told by Dance Moms)

If you've been reading my blog, you obviously can tell that I love gifs. However, my absolute gifs are from the show Dance Moms. I don't watch the show that often, but I think that it's an enigma, and it's easily my most favorite guilty pleasure show. I haven't used any Dance Moms gifs in preparation for this post, so be prepared for a long post with a lot of gifs rather than text.

So without further ado, I give you a typical night at a discoteca as told by Dance Moms. Get excited.

So the discoteca is just the Spanish word for club, but it's the popular night life scene in Spain. But they don't get busy until like 1 AM at the earliest. So basically what we do is we go out to a few different bars and have some drinks, and after we spend a day full of classes and we take our siesta, we are ready for a night out on the town.

So you get to the discoteca, and there's a bunch of drunk people dancing. Very typical, I suppose. The club we go to has a lot of American influence, so there isn't much salsa dancing or anything like that. But things always get interesting. Really it's just a bunch of really drunk Americans dancing in very close quarters.

Honestly, it looks pretty ridiculous. The club has a balcony, and one night I observed from above, and everyone looks like a school of fish squirming around in an attempt to "dance." I kind of just wanted to scream down at them like:

But oh well, it's a prime people watching spot if you enjoy that hobby (which I do).

Obviously, being in the club can be very uncomfortable, so some of the time I stand there like:

And I can pretty much find any excuse not to dance like this girl (who is kind of my idol).

But if (and when) I do decide to dance, it's kind of a big deal.

As much as I like to diss the overly drunk people and the mildly inappropriate dancing, it is actually really fun to boogie with all of your friends, especially when they play the grade school bangerz.

But the problem is that if you are aware enough, you realize how gross and annoying a club can be for several reasons, most particularly the attempts for men to make a move. I go to the discoteca to dance with my friends, not to have a random hookup with a stranger. But picking up a girl is on the agenda of many men.

Sometimes men will approach one of my friends or me and be like:

But then we give them a look that shows we are completely uninterested:

But then you see a super drunk girl take the bait of the boy, and it's really hard not to stand there looking at her like:

But I manage to resist the temptation every time. I supposed I can't judge anyone.

So now that I've given an overview of the typical background information of a discoteca, it's time for a story to exemplify the strange things that can happen. Last week, a group of students from England came to study at the same university as us. One of the boys is in my class, and he came up to my friend Mark and I at the discoteca to give a big HBD to America on Friday. Then, he went up to my friend and randomly asked him if he watched porn and then walked away. It was weird, and we kind of just stared at him like:

But we obviously knew the answer. What an awkward moment for my British classmate. I couldn't even look at him in class yesterday cause I was so embarrassed for him.

(I only told this story cause Mark wanted his name in the blog)

But no matter what crazy stuff happens or how gross it seems, we always have a great time. And obviously our group has the best dancers. We always leave the discoteca with this sort of reaction: